He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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