Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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