pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
