Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
