Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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