Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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