i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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