Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
