I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
