Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
