I think scott just propositioned me for sex
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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