I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
