His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
