would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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