I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
