Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
