my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
