You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
