just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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