I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
