How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
