I didn't shave. On purpose
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
