what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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