ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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