And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
