don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
50% drunk capacity currently
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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