so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
