only if we run a train.
done.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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