that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
