What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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