I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
being pregnant is like rehab
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
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