dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize