dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
