Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
They have beer where we have blood.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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