oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
