Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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