just tell him i said nine months
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
