So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize
