Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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