I can't breathe out the right side of my face
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
