he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Randomize
