they said they heard you say put it in my butt
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
