just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
