Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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