census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
