Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i think i scared a bird with my dick
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
