Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
