i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
