i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
