I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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