if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I just found puke in my bra..
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
