Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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