My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I think your dad took our porno
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
